Moment of Enlightenment

There are times throughout our lives when we struggle to know what are purpose is, why things happen to us and so on….

At this point in my life I have been searching for the true meaning of happiness, stability and complete contentment. All of these things combined can be difficult to find. At least all at once. Through trial and error you may experience 1 or 2 at a time, but just because you are happy does not mean that you are content with how your life is. As human beings and especially being a mom, sometimes it can be difficult to know who you are and where your place is outside of mommy-hood.  I have been a mom for 17 years, and there have been plenty of times where I have experienced happiness with my life along with stability, but lost in knowing my place for myself as a human being. We get so caught up in doing the daily things of what are kids need, we forget to take care of ourselves. To find peace and gratification in ourselves. It’s true that being a mom is amazing! But what happens when our kids grow up and we have put so much time and energy into raising our children, then suddenly realize that, individually, you no longer have an identity other than being so and so’s mom. Finding a balance can be difficult.

I do not claim to know it all, but I do try my best to inspire others and remind myself of why life is precious. My 17 year old has shown me that “Mommy” won’t be needed in the same way forever. He would rather hang out with friends then lame, old mom. That’s ok, we all go through that. A time where we try to find ourselves and show that we can do it on our own and family is just a back support.

But the question is….. How do we have happiness, contentment and stability?

I always thought that you could have all of these things by providing a warm, safe home for your family. But there was always something missing. Maybe some of you are better at this than I am, but I have had a roller-coaster ride as a parent. I have loved my children from the moment I found out I was pregnant with my 1st child. I remember rubbing my belly and making a promise, “I will love you forever and always take care of you”. As each new child came along, my heart grew bigger and bigger. I never knew that you could love 4 people the same amount, in different ways. They each brought new life to me. Happiness!

I was stable, I was happy, but I was not content….

It wasn’t until I had a stillborn a few years ago that I started to realize how fragile life is and I was living my life for children that would soon not need me as much and would one day leave me.

I was in shock…. Who am I?

It’s difficult to be selfish when you are a parent. Life revolves around your children because you want the best for them. You want them to be happy, stable and content in their lives. But how can we show them these things if we aren’t these things ourselves?

So the journey began to figure out how I was going to accomplish these things and prove to my children the importance of having all 3 of these things. 

I began to change my attitude, my views on life and those around me. I began to open my eyes to the world around me and think, “How can I ‘better‘, not only my life, but those around me as well?”. The key to happiness I found are the 3 main things that I have mentioned. Having these things are easier said than done sometimes. I began by looking at the people around me – are they happy, do they speak positively? If the people surrounding me are not happy and content with themselves, how are they influencing my life? So, I decided to start with speaking positively and being around people that added happiness to my life. I began to learn who I am, what my goals in life are (outside of mommy-hood), and having stability in myself.

See, we can have monetary stability such as: where we live, having the same people around us, working at a good job that provides money. But True Stability is when we are content in ourselves and how we view ourselves as individuals. It took me a while to figure that out. I remember as a child thinking, my kids won’t move around like I did because I want them to have stability. Yes, that is part of it, but what I’ve learned is that the sense of stability is not about where you are physically, it’s more about where your heart is. Internal stability last a lot longer and offers happiness because you become content in who you are and where your life is leading.

That’s why these 3 things are so important! Stability – Happiness – Contentment

I cannot tell you how to find these things for yourself, that is what your mission should be! Mine has been a long, (sometimes) hard lesson to learn. But, I found it! I have stability in knowing who I am, what I want, and how I want others to perceive me. I have found pure happiness in these things, and I am content in myself and where my life is leading. As a mom, these things help me to find a balance. When my 5 year old grows up, I will not be left wondering who I am, and what am I going to do now. My #1 goal is to be a good mom, to have memories with my children and help them grow into amazing individuals. But, you cannot forget about yourself!

 

I’m back and ready to go!

Hi everyone! Wow, what a summer! I thought I was never going to get back to you guys. My summer has been kind of a crazy one, bet you thought I fell off the face of the Earth.

Nope!

I was involved in a car accident that messed me up a little, I have spent the last 3 months trying to get better. I’m ok, no worries, I had a severe concussion so by brain wasn’t working right, lol. Not that it really ever was, but I was having some trouble thinking straight and formulating sentence that actually made since.

But, Here I Am…

So, what’s new with me? A lot! I have decided to start my own online business, check it out at: https://tip-central.com. This is a huge step for me, scary. But I am excited! I have always dreamt about owning my own business, but it’s never as easy as it looks. But nevertheless, I am a determined individual.

So come along with me on this crazy road called life! There is never a dull moment around here! I’m happy to be back, even though I never really started.

https://tip-central.com

The Beginning

As a Mom, sometimes it can be really difficult finding time for yourself. I remember when my 2 oldest boys were young, going to the grocery store alone was a treat. I would pretend that it was a mini vacation. I would go up and down every aisle, even if I knew I didn’t need anything from that isle. It was so peaceful.

I am now a mom to 4 kids, that’s right, 4. Talk about crazy sometimes.

I have 3 boys and 1 girl, they range from 16-5. It’s odd how a 16-year old and a 5-year old can have so much in common. The constant worry of what are they getting into now? Sometimes I just need a break, I can’t even go to the bathroom in peace. Never fails as soon as I walk in the bathroom, I hear…. Mom, can I have this, can I have that, I need this, or so and so did this. Bedtime is like the mysterious reminder that something needs to be done. Suddenly its, “Mom, I forgot about this”, and it’s already 30 min past bedtime. Ugh, where’s my coffee and music? I need a vacation!

Life is funny sometimes. What I have learned to do over the years is just smile and laugh. Things can be hectic and overwhelming but that’s life. It doesn’t make sense to get angry, that only hurts me. For the past few years I have been trying to figure things out as a single mom. I was married for 15 years, and sometimes the struggle is real to find time for me. But what I’ve realized, is that finding that time is important. It makes me a better mom.

So what do I do…

When I first became a mom, I tried to do all the right things. I wouldn’t let the kids watch more than an hour of TV a day, no video games throughout the week, I ran around picking up after them, I cooked a healthy meal every night, read them bedtime stories after their bath every night. As they got older I made them read every day for at least 20 min and doing fun things to increase their daily activity, I was killing it as a mom. But, I was also killing me. I wasn’t just a housewife, raising kids and making sure the kids were taken care of, I also worked full time. It was the recurring cycle of life. Get up, get kids ready, make sure they eat a healthy breakfast, take them to school, go to work, come home, cook dinner, clean everything up, give them a bath, put them to bed, pack lunches for the next day, make sure the house is clean and do the laundry. By the time it was time for me to go to bed, I was exhausted. I cried a lot, and I prayed a lot.

I realized that I couldn’t continue on this path. I needed to take care of me too. I spent my days making sure everyone else was taken care of, but I was too tired to take care of myself. So, I decided to take action. I started getting up a little earlier to go for a run. I laid clothes out for school the night before so I wasn’t running around in the morning trying to figure out what everyone was going to wear. I had the kids put their shoes by their book bags and coats so they weren’t magically lost when we had to leave in 5 min. And as horrible as this sounds, I let the dust stay for the week, I let the dirt stay on the floor for more than a day, I let my family help me with the laundry and the dishes. I started to realize that I didn’t have to do it all. See, I thought if my house wasn’t perfect, if one dish was left in the sink, if the floors weren’t swept and vacuumed every day, that meant I was failing. I thought that meant I was a bad mom. But truth be told, I was only doing it for myself. It didn’t matter that toys were scattered all over the living room or that the beds weren’t made every morning. I could take care of my family and myself.

I started locking the door when I went to the bathroom, and guess what? The kids learned that the world didn’t end just because mommy went potty. I realized that the more I took care of me, the better mom I became. I am more patient, more loving, more attentive to my kids.

 

As this journey continues, I hope that others can relate and respond. Not only do I want to inspire others, but I want to also be inspired by others!

%d bloggers like this: